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Total: 36



Sonic Youth
Sonic Nurse
Things Explode
It's Never Worked Before

Controller.Controller
History EP

Clinic
Winchester Cathedral

Birdie Hilltop
Surround the Birthday

Army of Me
Fake Ugly

Quickening
Are You Listening?

Devendra Banhart
Niño Rojo

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The Yes Men

Team America: World Police
I Heart Huckabees
Ladder 49
Gozu
Shaun of the Dead
A Dirty Shame
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Classic of the Week
Ashes of Time (1994)


the Hosted
The Zany Advs. of Ben & Matt
The Routine
Fred
Maximum Hank

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The Classic ($13.99)


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reviews
jersey girl
score: 1
2004, 102 min
 
Good news, Kevin Smith fans: he's still a hack. The bad news is he is no longer a hack in a likable everyman sort of way. Now he's a hack in a genuinely unpleasant sort of way. In a 'there are people who like this guy?' sort of way. Ben Affleck must be rubbing off on him.
 
Ben Affleck plays the super-buff super-asshole dad, who, inexplicably, everyone loves. The story follows him on his path from asshole to slightly smaller asshole. Why would Kevin Smith think that any of his other characters would care about this guy? Or why, for that matter, would we?
 
The perfunctory Star Wars references in this feel not like the amusing fanboy conversation crutches they were in Clerks, but like smug self-reference to the amusing fanboy conversaion crutches in Clerks. The cameos all feel self-satisfied and forced, with the exception of Will Smith, who provides one of the few interesting scenes in the film. The situations are uniformly cliched and implausible. It's like Kevin Smith decided to make a romantic comedy by cutting up a thousand other romantic comedies and pasting them together, photo-mosaic style, into a big picture of Ben Affleck's smirking mug.
 
While it arguably may not be the worst soundtrack ever, it is certainly the soundtrack that is most poorly employed. Every single song swells a little too loud, lyrically references what is happening on the screen a little too closely, stands in for acting and filmcraft in an attempt to create emotion a little too obviously. By the time the closing credits roll and you are painfully reminded that the movie is named after a Bruce Springsteen song, you finally give up and let the movie make you hate it.
 
scale
8: 10 best movies ever made
7: Absolute classic
6: See it a couple times, consider buying it
5: Good, entertaining and memorable
4: Adequate 1 - Entertaining
3: Adequate 2 - Entertaining but generic
2: Adequate 3 - Entertaining but generic and stupid
1: Bad, not entertaining
0: Shoot the moon. So bad it's good.
-1: Worse than that.
 
cast
Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Raquel Castro, George Carlin, Jason Biggs.
Directed by Kevin Smith.
 
reviewed by pat.
 
 
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